Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You can't just leave with hair like that
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
