you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
