At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
