Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
