I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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