I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
