You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
