Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
