did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
