Jerry, you need to find god
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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