Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
