im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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