There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
