Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
