well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
