i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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