escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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