i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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