She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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