Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
