we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
