I think I died a long time ago.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
