Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I supernannyed him into submission
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
