There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am naked and annoyed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
