Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
