i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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