Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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