so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
