i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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