dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
