Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
