just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Where is the hickey?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
