Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
