worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
