is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
