I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
