So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
