she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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