Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
