I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
