I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
