I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
