I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
