used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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