roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
