dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
