I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
