I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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