I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
