I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
