he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
